Healing and Reconciliation
This morning I read a story of reconciliation within a Native American community. A healer from that community got instructions from her plant spirits to give some specific Aspen branches to a person participating in a ceremony of their people. When he received these branches he yelled, “How did you know?” and confessed a serious wrong done to another within the community. He expressed honest regret for his actions (not just for getting caught.) The victim and the whole community were able to heal and move forward together.* In cultures like this, people are not thrown away, but neither are their transgressions ignored. Everyone’s needs are considered, and people have responsibility for their actions. The recognition that everyone is connected to everyone else is honored in thought, word, and deed, and when someone forgets those connections, the community helps them to remember. Everyone is needed and valued in the truth of interdependence.
I was deeply moved by this story as I contemplated our own culture where so many people imagine they are independent and can do whatever they want, consequences for others be damned. Many do not recognize or acknowledge the harm they cause; arrogance rather than humility reigns. Others engage in cancel culture where one mistake expels a person from the community without any means of reparation.
I let my imagination run wild and considered what I heard last night in the Jan 6 hearings—that our previous president threw a lunch plate against the dining room wall in anger after plotting to overthrow the election results. Somehow that image of ketchup sliding down the wall really stayed with me. And then I felt the experience of the young woman who worked down the hall and the food staff person cleaning the wall and picking up all the shards of broken porcelain. Were they scared, embarrassed, confused or even angry themselves? The president certainly offered no apologies or responsibility for his actions.
Then I let myself imagine the world I want to live in, and how that situation might have gone had we as a country (community) prioritized different values. Maybe there would have been no plate throwing or election racketeering at all. But if there were, at some point, maybe this one, the president might have been guided to take responsibility—to feel his debt to those who worked with and for him. He might have said this, “My friends, this last action of tossing my plate against the wall has woken me up from my dream of separation. I see the harm I have been causing our country, and in this moment I see the harm I have caused you. Please, do not clean up my mess anymore. I will pick up the pieces of plate and food, and take the damp sponge and clean the wall. If needed I will repaint. I truly regret my actions and the extra work that might fall to you.”
I’m not sure I can express how deeply this bit of imagination impacted me. I was tearful as I sat at my dining room table. I shared with my husband. He said that this would never happen and that all politicians were trained to be arrogant and selfish. I do understand that and know that my vision will not be an outer reality any time soon.
I responded that this vision was not for the politicians, it was for ME! And that it was the most important thing that had happened all week. I got a vision of the world I want and that was very orienting to help me to take the steps to move in that direction. I already had had a sense of what I didn’t want, but I don’t like fighting against, I like fighting for. And really, I don’t like “fighting for” that much either, though I can be pretty good at it. I want to hold myself and others accountable without cutting me/them off from the connections that make healing possible. I want to embody and embrace the love and respect that my vision offered, and live that with as much clarity and vibrancy as I can. And I am curious about what might make it more likely that others would want to join in this endeavor.
Later, during a morning teaching break, I meandered outside in the sun under clear blue skies. As I walked I saw the feather of a Great Horned Owl on the ground. I have never seen a feather like this and took it as a sign of confirmation in my vision. I felt connected to all nature as we sparkled and shined together. May it be so!
*This story is told in the wonderful book, Plant Spirit Medicine, by Eliot Cowan.